


ghosts all around you

by Marenke



Series: whumptober 2020 [16]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Gen, Hallucinations, Post-Canon, Whumptober, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:07:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26713468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marenke/pseuds/Marenke
Summary: During the mornings, Harry eats his breakfast with Lupin and Tonks.
Series: whumptober 2020 [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1931353
Kudos: 3
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	ghosts all around you

**Author's Note:**

> Whumptober day 16, prompt: hallucinations.

During the mornings, Harry eats his breakfast with Lupin and Tonks. Their skins have the pallor of death, and they do not speak, only look. When he leaves for work, he greets Fred, who hangs by his door. Fred also does not speak. 

Near the newsstand, on his way to the ministry, is Colin Creevey, sitting amongst old newspapers. Harry does not look, but the weight of the gaze is like dropping lead on his back. He does not need to look into the crowd much to see people he knew from afar, all classmates or people in higher or lower years that had died during the battle: he’d gone to every funeral, seen their bodies resting peacefully before being lowered into the ground, put to rest. 

Except they weren’t actually resting, were they? No, here they were, watching Harry go through life. They did not speak, but Harry knew what their eyes said.  _ You should’ve stayed dead. We should’ve been alive.  _ The words repeated themselves in his head, over and over and over like a mantra, background noise to his daily life.

At some level, he was aware these weren’t real ghosts: they didn’t have the silver tones ghosts had, in full color. Maybe that’s why he went to see a therapist every once in a while. It wasn’t much, really, just an older woman, a Squib, with large, gold-rimmed glasses and white hair. 

She did not judge him. She let Harry talk, and talk, and talk - or in the days he couldn’t talk, they’d drink tea and eat biscuits she kept in a tin. He liked to think they were just for him, but Harry knew the odds for that were slow.

“You know the war isn’t your fault, right?” She said, once. Harry looked at her, over the rim of his teacup. “The events you told me were set in movement before you  _ or  _ your parents were alive.”

Harry drank his tea, grabbed a loose biscuit from the tin.

“But I could’ve done more.”

“When we think too much, we always think that we could’ve done more.” She paused, swirling the tiny spoon to break up clumps of sugar in her tea. “The past is set in stone. You can’t go back and change it.”

Harry chewed on his biscuit for a moment, nodded. 

“So what should I do?” It was her time to pause, watching Harry over her glasses. 

“Perhaps you should think that these hallucinations you speak of aren’t jealous that you’re alive and they aren’t. Perhaps they’re keeping watch over you.” She suggested, and Harry, absently, nodded again. “That’s why you see them when you eat breakfast, when you leave, when you go to work. They’re making sure you’re safe.”

“That would be nice.”

“Then pretend it is that.”

* * *

Harry wakes up, goes to get breakfast, and Tonks and Lupin watch over him. He did not like staring at them, but he had to admit it felt nice to have company to eat.

“Thanks.” He said, feeling stupid for saying it out loud to what he knew was thin air. The two did not move, but maybe it was Harry’s mind, playing tricks on him, but they seemed like they smiled.


End file.
